Thanks Doug

    I've been thinking about this one a lot for the last few days. Should I address it to Doug like I have previous posts? Should I not? Should I even do it at all? I finally landed on the decision to address all the the "Thank you's" to Doug, but to start out the letter in a more ambiguous way, simply talking about Doug. Doug's passing is still so recent that I sometimes don't know how to approach it, or what my role is to my husband in regards to him. But I knew that I couldn't devote 23 days to thanking people without including him. He did so much for our family, and I wish that I had thanked him more than I did. I'm grateful to have gotten to know him when I did, and that Kale was able to know him enough that he sometimes still cries because he misses Grandpa Pat. And I'm glad Doug was able to meet Ellory. I'm grateful to my Heaven Father, who guided us to that one year Internship at BYU so that we were able to spend the last year of Doug's life with him rather than somewhere like Oregon or Washington. That was a special blessing that came well before anyone knew what was going to happen.

    Doug, thank you for being Tyler's Dad. Thank you for passing on to him your amazing desire to serve everyone and anyone around you. All the time. Thank you for passing on to him your love of work, and not just work, but doing your best work at everything. Thank you for the car. It's still going strong! Thank you for all the help you gave us for our wedding and reception. Thank you for doing the luncheon up in Logan. It was beautiful. Thank you for accepting me into your family. Thank you for letting Tyler live with you the semester we were engaged. Thank you for letting me come over to hang out with him. Thank you for all the stories you told me about your life and your family and your travels. Thank you for all the laughs.
   Thank you for loving Kale and Ellory so much. But especially Kale. He loves you so dearly, and he misses you so much. One day recently, when he was having just a really bad day of getting in trouble over and over again, he came to me with the Jungle Joe doll you gave him and he told me that I should take it away from him. I asked him why and he said, "Because when Grandpa Pat gave that to me he said he was giving it to me because I was a good boy. But I'm not being a good boy now, so he wouldn't want me to have it." It was so heartbreaking but at the same time so lovely to know that he cared so much about what you said to him. Thank you for giving Kale Grandpa Grant's ring. Thank you for visiting us in Washington and walking around Pike Place Market with us even though it was so cold and wet.
   Thank you for giving us a waffle maker. We used it so much that it broke. I kept using it after it broke for as long as I could, but we finally had to give it up. Thank you for that Christmas when we went to see the drive through lights in our pajamas. Thank you for all the dinners you made us. Thank you for all the times you gave us money just because you wanted to. Thank you for watching "old" movies with me when you were sick and the kids and I would come spend the day with you.