Thanks Grandma

    Joan Deleuw Estes. That's my Grandma's name. We gave Ellory the middle name of Joan, after my grandma. She is the only grandparent I ever knew. My dad's mom died when he was 16, and his dad died when I was 2 or 3 so I don't remember him. And my mom's dad died just before I turned 1 so I don't remember him either. But Grandma has always been there. And I love her dearly. And I miss her all the time. This letter may be my hardest one to get through, but she has influenced my life so much and I am so grateful for her, I'll make it through somehow. I'll have to channel my inner Deleuw and suck it up.

    Thank you for being my mom's Mom. Thank you for all you did for her that made her into my mom. Thank you for all the card games. Thank you for being competitive at the card games. Thank you for yelling, "Shoosterpike!" when something happened in said card games that you didn't like. Thank you for always convincing us that we should gang up on my dad to "take him down." Thank you for all the Thanksgivings. Thank you for letting us come to your home and reek havoc. Thank you for letting us build forts in your basement with your furniture. Thank you for letting us build forts in your backyard at your old house with your sheets and your drying line. Thank you for all the Popsicles. Banana ones are way better than rootbeer ones. Thank you for loving tennis and the Jazz. Thank you for finding the most amazing roll recipe ever. Thank you for cream cheese covered olives and green onions. Thank you for my Aunts and Uncles. Thank you for warning your neighbors that we were coming because we were so loud instead of telling us to not be loud. Thank you for the Ping-Pong games. Thank you for laughing with us. I miss your laugh.
    Thank you for taking Jake and Kyle and me to your house for 7 weeks while mom was pregnant with Dain and on bed rest. I don't remember anything from those 7 weeks. I know that is when Kyle got stitches on his face because that is what I've been told, but I don't remember it. I imagine that was not easy for you. The 3 of us were a handful, and 7 weeks is a long time! I'm sure I missed my mom and dad, but I know how much I love you so I bet you made it okay. Thank you for always being willing to do what you could to help us.
     Thank you for always always being there. Thank you for coming to my baptism. I don't remember much about that day, but I remember that I really wanted you to be there. Thank you for all the times you drove all the way out to Iowa all by yourself. Thank you for being the cool grandma who drove an Eclipse, and who drove fast. Thank you for being excited for me when I learned to play the piano. Thank you for teaching me to sew. Thank you for helping me with my Young Women's project and making that skirt with me. Thank you for all the birthday cards and Christmas presents. Thank you for coming to my high school graduation. Thank you for coming to my College graduation. Thank you for coming to my wedding. Thank you for that time I drove to Iowa with you after my sophomore year at BYU. Thank you for listening to those radio mysteries with me. Thank you for telling me about how you met Grandpa and that you were married in the Logan Temple, and about your life together, moving around a lot and all you did to help him at his job. I didn't come out and tell you exactly that I was going to marry Tyler at that time, but I think you knew. And you said everything I needed to hear to give me the extra confidence I needed at that time.
    Thank you for all the Grandma Dinners when we were in college, and that year that we interned at BYU. I loved Grandma Dinners! Thank you for not even blinking an eye when your great-grandkids came along and started having their turn to reek havoc on your home. Thank you for showing Kale the bag of blocks. Thank you for running up and down the stairs with him. Thank you for always making Jello for dinner. Thank you for hosting Christmas Eve dinners with us a couple of times. It was fun having Chinese food and then singing Christmas Carols.
    Thank you for serving a proselyting mission to Manchester England. Thank you for loving the Gospel and the Savior so much. Thank you for your prayers. Thank you for being so brave when you found out you had cancer. Every time you told me about the pain or discomfort you were in, you did it with a smile. Thank you for everything you have taught me by example. That we can be tough. That hard work is good. That family is the most important thing. Period. That love can be expressed in many ways. That it is up to us to choose to be happy or not. Thank you for choosing to be happy even though you had to spend so many years alone.
        In one of the last conversations I had with you, I asked you if there was anything you wanted me to know, any advice you wanted to give me. And you told me, not really. You told me that I was a great mom and to keep doing what I was doing and that everything would be fine. You told me to cherish every minute with my husband, and to remember not to neglect him because I'm focused on the kids. You told me you loved me very much and that you were so proud of me. And that was all. Thank you for those words. You are an opinionated woman who always tells the truth, so to hear those words from you meant everything.
    I love you so very much, and one day, when I see you again, I will be so happy to see you, it may just overwhelm me. I hope that as you watch over me in the rest of my life, that I make you proud of me.